God knew the plans for this little one, He knew the plans for me! He knew that Andrew's parents would be the perfect family for him. He knew that I would go through the grief and come out on the other side happy and thankful for my choice. He knew that I would have an incredible bond with Tom and Karen, who are such special people in my heart. He knew that Andrew would have a little brother from Korea a few years later and that they would have the best life growing up together in such a loving home. He knew that Andrew and I would have an open adoption and be in each other's lives forever. God knew exactly what the plan was, and I am so blessed to have gone through what I did.
My path has been shaped by that time and those choices. I have spent the last 5 years working with mamas in crisis just like I found myself in college. I have loved on them, supported them, and walked with them through the challenges of an unplanned pregnancy. I understand the fear, the hurt, the sadness, the hopelessness. But, I also understand that there is light, hope, and endless possibilities when you give everything over to God. It's amazing what His love, grace, and mercy can do in your life. I am proof that out of difficult situations comes peace and joy.
I love you Andrew. I love you SO much that I made the best plan that I knew to give you a life of happiness and contentment. I would have loved to be your mama for life, but I understood that giving you the things that I could not provide at the time, were so much more important than trying to figure it out along the way. For me, it was important that you had a mom AND a dad, that you had no financial stresses to worry about. It was important that you had a mom who could stay at home with you, spoil you, hold you, and play with you whenever you needed it. It was important that you had everything that I would have wanted to give you and just was not in the best place in my life to do so.
What is special Andrew, is that I have been able to get my life together since that moment I said goodbye to you. I have been able to get on a great path and give back to others. I've been able to fall in love with a beautiful man who thinks you are just the most special 10 year old kid around. I have been able to grow in Christ's love and deepen my relationship with God. I have been able to have a beautiful baby who is now your 1/2 brother and we are excited for you to meet him this summer. I have been able to be a special person in your life and you in mine. I thank God for your mom and dad, your baby brother, and you, everyday!!
Happy Birthday, Andrew! 10 years has flown by. What a pleasure it has been to see you grow over these 10 years. May God continue to bless you and keep you safe and happy. I love you always and forever!
