It's no secret that Jayden was definitely NOT the easiest newborn. He had all kinds of issues - poor baby. As shared in my earlier blog, my overproduction of milk caused some pretty rough tummy troubles for my little man every time he ate. With nursing, you can expect to feed your infant every two or three hours in the beginning, since your milk just goes right through them. So, you can guess how much of our time was spent with a crying newborn. The tummy troubles gave us the fabulous gift of colic, making our Spaetzel family household a fun place to be for the first 15 weeks of Jayden's life. In addition, he was diagnosed with having some reflux just for kicks. Yes, life in the beginning was a sad state of affairs, but I must admit, I still had moments of utter love when snuggling with that tiny newborn, crying and all.
During those first few months, I just held onto the moments that brought me complete happiness and peace. The days of rocking Jayden on my chest to soft lullaby's and drifting in and out of a light sleep are long gone, but memories that I will forever love. These were the times that got me through it all. Now the idea in my mind of what it would be like with a new baby in our home was NOTHING like the reality that all the colic and lack of sleep brought me. I worked hard for the first eight weeks to attempt to get some kind of routine together. Not a routine for the baby, but for myself in actually functioning outside of newborn land.
We did not have many visitors - simply because I struggled so very much with the whole nursing, new baby, sleep when he sleeps sort of life. I cried more in the first few months of Jayden's life than I had throughout my entire pregnancy. That my friends is a lot of crying, since I was a blubbering mess during pregnancy. I felt frustrated and sad that being a new mom did not come super easy for me. The endless love and caring for Jadyen came easy for me, but understanding how to make that fit into a regular life did not. Going to the store, taking a walk, having visitors stop by - it was all too much for me at first. I eventually figured it out WAY after it seemed that all the other moms had. In my own time, the routine of life eventually fit.
When I finally figured out a routine for myself, and Jayden became a new, happy and content baby (around 4 months), I discovered another issue that began to take over - severe sleep deprivation! I know that most babies bring parents a healthy heaping dose of sleep deprivation from the very start, but Jadyen, well, he's something special when it comes to this area of babyhood. Our child does not like to sleep...ever! From the time he was born (and even in utero), he's always been very active and always wanting to move. He lived in my sleepy wrap for the first 4 months, just so that I could get him to sleep. While I moved, he slept. But, staying still to rest his little eyes and tired body is obviously just not an option for Jayden. His naps are not any better, as a 20-30 minute power nap a few times a day is all he needs.
Our family is not big on sleep training. And to be honest, the one time I tried to let him cry for a little while, the experience of it all did not go over well for either of us. Jayden is a determined little soul and leaving him to cry-it-out did not end with a sleeping child. He would only accelerate his cries to the point where his whole body was shaking and breathing heavy as he tried to calm himself down. It breaks my heart even to document this horrible experience. I can remember picking up this little baby who had been left to cry alone in his crib. He was so sad, his eyes red from crying and his breath skipping a beat to try and calm down as I held him in my arms. For me, the experience was just as terrible. I'm just the sort of hippie mom who loves to hold and snuggle my baby to sleep, and this was just not for me or my husband.
So, it was on to figuring out another way to soothe our little man into dreamland for an entire night. I made sure to read about 10 different books on attachment parenting and sleep. The problem is not getting him to sleep each evening, the problem is getting Jayden to stay asleep. A typical night in our house begins with Jadyen being rocked/bounced to sleep around 8:30/9:00. He sleeps in his crib until about midnight or even 1am if we are lucky, and is up about two or three more times until morning. Now we do co-sleep in our house, and with our new king size Tempur-pedic bed, co-sleeping has just become even more wonderful. Jayden, however, has recently started crawling and moving and loves to rule the bed. Now Matt and I find ourselves heading to the nursery to rock/nurse/bounce him back to sleep and place him sweetly back into his crib. We laugh (or cry) when morning comes, replaying the nights events for one another, and trying to see who remembers the actual occurrences of when Jayden work up each time. We play the game of who got up and rocked him last. It's all in fun, since we know we are both exhausted and no one really got a good nights rest.
Will this ever change? Will Jadyen ever get the memo about needing sleep or that his mom and dad would love to sleep more than 4 hours in a row? Well, I can't say that I don't hold out hope. We do have many jokes around this house, Matt and I, about our sleepless child. But in the end, for us, it really doesn't matter. We don't feel like we need a strict routine or plan for our 7 month old. We understand as he gets older things will be a bit different, but for now I think we both appreciate being blessed with a healthy, happy, absolutely adorable (and in my mind, perfect) baby boy. I know that life can be a lot worse and people can have extremely challenging issues to deal with when it comes to parenting. So, we put things in perspective and realize that in the big picture of life, waking up a few times a night during our first few years, is insignificant. The most important thing is that we are enjoying this journey of being new parents together. And to that I say, who needs sleep anyway?!
